Goldfinches

29 May

I seen a goldfinch in my garden. Here is the goldfinch.

Goldfinch

You might think goldfinches are boring. Not so. Here are my top ten goldfinch facts.

1. The name “goldfinch” comes from the latin “goldfish”, meaning “easily killed, easily disposed of”.

2. Goldfinches can be trained to talk. As long as all you want them to say is “Tweet”.

3. Goldfinches have targets on their face as a kind of dare.

4. If you catch the adults from fifteen nests and take their eggs too, you have just enough ingredients to make a scotch egg. Provided they all have a beakful of breadcrumbs too.

5. Goldfinches make their nests exclusively in fat ladies’ bras. Which is why their young smell of sweaty breasts.

6. Because they are so small, goldfinches are governed by the laws of quantum physics, meaning they can exist in two places at the same time. This is why you can’t trust them.

7. Goldfinches are the only bird which like to run around making motorbike noises and pretending to hold on to handlebars with their wings. Apart from choughs.

8. Goldfinches were introduced to Australia in the late 19th century. But they didn’t like it. So they built little rafts and sailed back to the UK. But they didn’t have passports and were refused access. The stateless goldfinches were forced to become puffins. Which is where puffins come from. This is why you can’t trust puffins.

9. Goldfinches like to use siskins as footstools.

10. There are only nine facts about goldfinches.

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One Response to “Goldfinches”

  1. 1doner June 29, 2013 at 8:26 am #

    wow! well done!

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