Christmas Owl Puke

7 Jan

So it is January and Christmas happened and I wondered if Christmas was good so I imagined I have a friend. I called him Tony and I got him to get me a present. Tony knows I like seening birds so he bought me a thing of Owl Puke.

"Owl Puke."

“Owl Puke.”

You get a book about owls and a owl pellet and a sorting tray for sorting bones from the pellet and a box that it comes in.

I immediately had a problem with it. The set, and the pellet are “American”. So the owl it came from is “American”. So it is not a real owl. It is a dirty forrin splitter owl. It don’t count.

And it ain’t even owl puke. It is a owl pellet. Tony sucks at present buying.

I started taking the pellet apart and sorting the bones out and it took ages.

Owl Puke 2

It was disgusting.

When I finished I was left with all this:

Owl Puke 3

As you can see, the tray for hip bones is empty. This is because dirty forrin splitter owls pick on rodents with no hips because dirty forrin splitter owls are cowards.

All in all the whole experience was a massive disappointment and I am glad Tony is imaginary and I can imagine him dying of a exotic wasting disease so I never have to do a Christmas again.

I am now going to empty the tray into my dad’s rolling tobacco and hope he don’t notice because I want my inheritance soon.

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