Tag Archives: avocet

Curlew Sandpiper

31 May

So yesterday I gone up Titchfield Haven and seen some birds but better than that there was this bloke with a wooden leg who I think was a pirate or something and all the woodpeckers were pecking at his leg and it kept getting shorter and he could only walk in circles and then he fell over and the pirate police caught him and he said “Well I’ll be stumped.” or something. I had a jacket potato with beans for lunch there.

Curlew Sandpiper

Curlew Sandpiper

Common Tern

Common Tern

Black-Headed Gull Chicks

Black-Headed Gull Chicks

Avocet

Avocet

Sedge Warbler

Sedge Warbler

Hitler's Gusset Butterfly

Hitler’s Gusset Butterfly

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Minsmere and Rye Meads

21 Sep

This weekend I gone to the North to seen birds that are different to the birds I seen. I was disappointed that there were so many people doing birdseening with their children; setting them up for failure. Also, it is unnatural for a person who does birdseening to be able to perform the acts which result in a children. The whole thing sickened me.

On Saturday 20th September I gone to Minsmere. On Sunday 21st September I gone to Rye Meads. Between these I stayed in Leiston. Leiston is awful. It is worse than bird seening. There was a fat man there asleep in a car. He was there when I arrived in Leiston. He was there when I left Leiston. He was completely bald.

Here is what I seen at Minsmere:

Purple sandpiper

Purple sandpiper

Probably a grebe of some sort. Or not. Not knot. I know it's not. Dunno what grebe though. It just looks grebey. Like it has eaten all the cakes. HAHAHAHA! Because "grebey" sounds a bit like "greedy"! HAHAHAHA!

Probably a grebe of some sort. Or not. Not knot. I know it’s not. Dunno what grebe though. It just looks grebey. Like it has eaten all the cakes. HAHAHAHA! Because “grebey” sounds a bit like “greedy”! HAHAHAHA!

Not even real birds.

Not even real birds.

Mostly concealed water rail.

Mostly concealed water rail.

Little ringed plover.

Little ringed plover.

Gadwall.

Gadwall.

Fungus. I win.

Fungus. I win.

Fungus. I win again.

Fungus. I win again.

Bittern. Or some reeds. Who can tell? Birdseening is awful.

Bittern. Or some reeds. Who can tell? Birdseening is awful.

Avocets. Far away and blurry in some poorly placed mist. Seriously, the RSPB should think this stuff through a bit.

Avocets. Far away and blurry in some poorly placed mist. Seriously, the RSPB should think this stuff through a bit.

The RSPB are cheating swines.

The RSPB are cheating swines.

SSOFW

SSOFW

Sparrowhawk dinner.

Sparrowhawk dinner.

Sanderling. From the French, "sans du ling", meaning "without some ling". As you can see, it lives up to it's name; not a ling in sight.

Sanderling. From the French, “sans du ling”, meaning “without some ling”. As you can see, it lives up to it’s name; not a ling in sight.

At Rye Meads I seen these things:

Young little grebe turning green due to a deadly combination of gamma radiation and anger. Who can tell what he is so angry about? Probably being small. Little people are always angry. I pointed this out to a midget once and they proceded to prove me right.

Young little grebe turning green due to a deadly combination of gamma radiation and anger. Who can tell what he is so angry about? Probably being small. Little people are always angry. I pointed this out to a midget once and they proceded to prove me right.

Tufted duck.

Tufted duck.

Snipe. Snipe is an anagram of man-sausage. Fact.

Snipe. Snipe is an anagram of man-sausage. Fact.

Sickening.

Sickening.

Disgusting.

Disgusting.

Not A Great Deal

12 Aug

I gone Pagham Harbour. Seen not much. Fly like egg.

Sparrowhawk which I thought was something more exciting but it wasn't.

Sparrowhawk which I thought was something more exciting but it wasn’t.

Juvenile moorhen being led away by an evil female duck. I did nothing to stop the atrocity.

Juvenile moorhen being led away by an evil female duck. I did nothing to stop the abduction. Abducktion. HAR HAR.

How does a wader draw a right angle? With an avocet square. HAR HAR No not really. No birds can draw a right angle because all birds are pathetic at geometry. And biology. And religious education. And history.

How does a wader draw a right angle? With an avocet square. HAR HAR No not really. No birds can draw a right angle because all birds are pathetic at geometry. And biology. And religious education. And history.

Pagham Harbour

21 Jul

Ug caveman ung ugga ug. Ug go Pagham Harbour. Ug ugga ug rather nice time.

Juvenile shelducks. They still lisp when they say long words.

Juvenile shelducks. They still lisp when they say long words.

Juvenile robin. So sweaty he can slip through the tiny gaps between electrons, upsetting atoms into being less hydrogenny.

Juvenile robin. So sweaty he can slip through the tiny gaps between electrons, upsetting atoms into being less hydrogenny.

Reed warbler. Feel the violent simmering rage. He is angry at ALL the local bi-laws.

Reed warbler. Feel the violent simmering rage. He is angry at ALL the local by-laws.

Magpies have no skeleton, just a loose framework of disgarded straws.

Magpies have no skeleton, just a loose framework of disgarded straws.

Juvenile green woodpecker. Green woodpeckers are resposible for all the fly-tipping in the UK. They wait until the flies are asleep and then shove them over.

Juvenile green woodpecker. Green woodpeckers are resposible for all the fly-tipping in the UK. They wait until the flies are asleep and then shove them over.

Great tit. Cannot play guitar.

Great tit. Cannot play guitar.

Great spotted woodpecker. If you join up the spots on a great spotted woodpecker's back it makes a drawing of Jesus in a Nazi uniform.

Great spotted woodpecker. If you join up the spots on a great spotted woodpecker’s back it makes a drawing of Jesus in a Nazi uniform.

10% of black-headed gulls are bigger than themselves.

10% of black-headed gulls are bigger than themselves.

Avocets cannot fly.

Avocets cannot fly.

Avocets dissolve in water like an elegant feathery Alka-Seltzer.

Avocets dissolve in water like an elegant feathery Alka-Seltzer.

Two eerie faceless birds sharing a pair of legs.

Two eerie faceless birds sharing a pair of legs.

Pagham Havocet

6 Jun

Today I gone to Pagham Harbour to seen the avocets that the RSPB Handbook of British Birds (Second Edition) says should be Northerned by now.

avocets

As you can see, I have now mastered my new lens:

shelduck black tailed-godwits avocets and mallards

Then I seen a blackbird. Blackbirds are not actually black. They are a vivid red. The black is an optical illusion to prevent social diseases.

blackbird

New Lens

23 May

Today I tried out the new camerara lens I got for my birthday. It is difficult to do pictures of what you seen with it because of no talent. I seen these with it up a Pagham Harbour.

Shelduck Mute swan Black-tailed godwits Acocet

I’m pretty sure that avocet should be in foreign by now.

Herring Gulls

9 Mar

Herring Gulls

by William Wordschough

I wandered lonely as some smog That floats on high o'er Southampton skulls, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of screeching herring gulls; Beside the filth, beneath the gloom, Born of the city's fetid womb.

I wandered lonely as some smog
That floats on high o’er Southampton skulls,
When all at once I saw a flock,
A host, of screeching herring gulls;
Beside the filth, beneath the gloom,
Born of the city’s fetid womb.

Also, yesterday in Southampton, I seen this brilliant plastic owl, deterring pigeons.

Effective deterant plastic owl

Then today at Pagham Harbour I seen these. Each and every one was making horrid comments about the participants of the Winter Paralympics. Typical bigotted rural wildlife. Not like the hip and tolerant foxes round my way.

Roe Deer Buff-Tailed Bumble Bee Avocets

Windy Day

15 Feb

I gone to Farlington Marshes this morning. It was very windy.

Thing that is supposed to be out at sea not being out at sea.

Thing that is supposed to be out at sea not being out at sea.

Which meant all the birds was being rubbish.

Various birds being unimpressive.

Various birds being unimpressive.

All I seen was some tufted ducks. The wind don’t bother tufted ducks. Because they are well hard. That’s how they get their names. Tufted duck is a contraction of “tough Ted duck”. Because they are tough. And have a teddy-boy style quiff. Because they love Ted Bovis out of Hi-De-Hi. And they are a duck.

Tough Teds.

Tough Teds.

So instead of seening birds I did some seening for bird tracks and I found these prints in lots of the puddles.

Mystery footprints.

Mystery footprints.

Even though there was loads of tracks I didn’t seen any birds making the tracks. This means the birds making the tracks must be really tiny so you can’t seen them with a nude eye. Here is my deduced image of what they must look like.

Mystery footprints maker.

Mystery footprints maker.

Avocets and Brenty Geese

28 Dec

I done a birdseen at Farlingull Barstools. Seen theses:

Avocets and brenty geese Live together in perfect harmoneese, Side by side on my coastal reserve, Oh, Lord, why don’t we?   Because we are better at using guns. Stupid birds. I bet if birds had guns they’d be worse than us. Evil feathery bastards.

Avocets and brenty geese
Live together in perfect harmoneese,
Side by side on my coastal reserve,
Oh, Lord, why don’t we?
Because we are better at using guns.
Stupid birds.
I bet if birds had guns they’d be worse than us.
Evil feathery bastards.

Shovelers and tealy ducks Live together in all the marshy mucks, Side by side etc.

Shovelers and tealy ducks
Live together in all the marshy mucks,
Side by side etc.

redwing i think although to start with i thunked it were a merlin so what do i know

redwing i think although to start with i thunked it were a merlin so what do i know

Two little grebes Had two little... Oh no, we can't reference Rolf songs anymore, can we.  Especially not that one.

Two little grebes
Had two little…
Oh, no. We can’t reference Rolf songs anymore.
Especially not that one.

Avocets

17 Dec

So today I was going to Sainsbury’s to get bombay mix ready for Christmas and from the Eastern Road bridge I seen the avocets. I did a big stop in a car park with my car and photosed them. I like avocets.

Acocets In The City

Acocets In The City

Synchronised Avocet Display Team demonstrating a left leg bend with a triple walking-away.

Synchronised Avocet Display Team demonstrating a left leg bend with a triple walking-away.

I saw some other things too.

Ally McTeal

Ally McTeal

Everybody Ringed-Plovers Raymond

Everybody Ringed-Plovers Raymond

The Goldfinchen Girls

The Goldfinchen Girls (it should be noted that these goldfinches are boys. soz.)

I have very happy that I seen avocets.  The end. So.

(ps: also i did get some bombay mix ready for christmas)