Tag Archives: black-headed gull

Curlew Sandpiper

31 May

So yesterday I gone up Titchfield Haven and seen some birds but better than that there was this bloke with a wooden leg who I think was a pirate or something and all the woodpeckers were pecking at his leg and it kept getting shorter and he could only walk in circles and then he fell over and the pirate police caught him and he said “Well I’ll be stumped.” or something. I had a jacket potato with beans for lunch there.

Curlew Sandpiper

Curlew Sandpiper

Common Tern

Common Tern

Black-Headed Gull Chicks

Black-Headed Gull Chicks

Avocet

Avocet

Sedge Warbler

Sedge Warbler

Hitler's Gusset Butterfly

Hitler’s Gusset Butterfly

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Jungle Sponge

13 Sep

I seen at Farlington Marshes. Seen.

Little Egret

Little Egret

Grey plover probably.

Grey plover probably.

LITTLE EGRET

LITTLE EGRET

LITTLE EEEEEGRET

LITTLE EEEEEGRET

Parts of a black-headed gull.

Parts of a black-headed gull.

One of those.

One of those.

Starlings.

Starlings.

Gengis Sodding Khan.

Gengis Sodding Khan.

Little egret. LITTLE EGRET. LIIIITTLE EEEGRET.

Little egret. LITTLE EGRET. LIIIITTLE EEEGRET.

Flock of bastards.

Flock of bastards.

Great crested grebe.

Great crested grebe.

Grey heron.

Grey heron.

Terry Sodding Waites.

Terry Sodding Waites.

Hari Sodding Krishna.

Hari Sodding Krishna.

Fly eating excrement; a metaphor for life.

Fly eating excrement; a metaphor for life.

Outoffocuscatcher.

Outoffocuscatcher.

LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET.

LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET.

Great tit. Greatit. Great at IT.

Great tit. Greatit. Great at IT.

Great White Egret

31 Aug

Today I gone to Blashford Lakes and seen lots of things including a great white egret. It would have been good but my back hurts and there were lots of people there and some spoke to me and I was all like “Yes, I am baldmonkey off of baldmonkeyseenabird.” and “No, you cannot have my autograph I hate you for having an awful hobby like birdwatching when you are clearly capable of talking to other people. You disgust me.”

Great white egret being far away.

Great white egret being far away.

Great white egret flying further away.

Great white egret flying further away.

Tom Selleck

Tom Selleck

Robin

Robin

Little grebe

Little grebe

Little grebe with loud and needy littler grebe.

Little grebe with loud and needy littler grebe.

Green sandpiper sort of thing.

Green sandpiper sort of thing.

Great Crested Grebes

Great Crested Grebes

Juvenile great crested grebe. Little great crested grebe. Crested grebe. No crest yet though as it is little. Grebe.

Juvenile great crested grebe. Little great crested grebe. Crested grebe. No crest yet though as it is little. Grebe.

Great crested grebe.

Great crested grebe.

FUNGUS! I WIN!

FUNGUS! I WIN!

Dunnock.

Dunnock.

Common tern.

Common tern.

Chaffinch.

Chaffinch.

Blue tit.

Blue tit.

Blackbird.

Blackbird.

Albatross.

Albatross.

Urgh! Disgusting! Kill it! Kill it!

Urgh! Disgusting! Kill it! Kill it!

Also, last weekend I gone to Baffins Pond and Rotherlands Nature Reserve but I didn’t bother uploading the photos because they were crap so here they are for you. I love you. Die.

Baffins Pond:

Moorhens.

Moorhens.

Cormorant trying to blend in with canada geese.

Cormorant trying to blend in with canada geese.

Canada goose.

Canada goose.

Black-headed gulls.

Black-headed gulls.

 

Rotherlands:

Grey wagtail.

Grey wagtail.

Dragon

Dragon

Buzzards.

Buzzards.

Buzzard.

Buzzard.

Bees.

Bees.

Half a magpie.

Half a magpie.

Broadmarsh Coat I’ll Park

14 Aug

Done gone place. People at place. Feel bad. Seen gullington. Gone.

Herring gullingtons.

Herring gullingtons.

Coquettish herring gullington.

Coquettish herring gullington.

Canada goose? Yes; a da CAN goose.

Canada goose? Yes; a da CAN goose.

Black-headed gullingtons.

Black-headed gullingtons.

Black-headed gullington.

Black-headed gullington.

Pagham Harbour

21 Jul

Ug caveman ung ugga ug. Ug go Pagham Harbour. Ug ugga ug rather nice time.

Juvenile shelducks. They still lisp when they say long words.

Juvenile shelducks. They still lisp when they say long words.

Juvenile robin. So sweaty he can slip through the tiny gaps between electrons, upsetting atoms into being less hydrogenny.

Juvenile robin. So sweaty he can slip through the tiny gaps between electrons, upsetting atoms into being less hydrogenny.

Reed warbler. Feel the violent simmering rage. He is angry at ALL the local bi-laws.

Reed warbler. Feel the violent simmering rage. He is angry at ALL the local by-laws.

Magpies have no skeleton, just a loose framework of disgarded straws.

Magpies have no skeleton, just a loose framework of disgarded straws.

Juvenile green woodpecker. Green woodpeckers are resposible for all the fly-tipping in the UK. They wait until the flies are asleep and then shove them over.

Juvenile green woodpecker. Green woodpeckers are resposible for all the fly-tipping in the UK. They wait until the flies are asleep and then shove them over.

Great tit. Cannot play guitar.

Great tit. Cannot play guitar.

Great spotted woodpecker. If you join up the spots on a great spotted woodpecker's back it makes a drawing of Jesus in a Nazi uniform.

Great spotted woodpecker. If you join up the spots on a great spotted woodpecker’s back it makes a drawing of Jesus in a Nazi uniform.

10% of black-headed gulls are bigger than themselves.

10% of black-headed gulls are bigger than themselves.

Avocets cannot fly.

Avocets cannot fly.

Avocets dissolve in water like an elegant feathery Alka-Seltzer.

Avocets dissolve in water like an elegant feathery Alka-Seltzer.

Two eerie faceless birds sharing a pair of legs.

Two eerie faceless birds sharing a pair of legs.

Slimbridge WWT

10 Jan

So, yesterday I gone to Slimbridge WWT. As well as lots of crippled birds in their zoo, I seen a crane and a bewick’s swan.

Crane.

Crane.

Bewick's swan.

Bewick’s swan.

But betters was the peregrine falcon attacking a buzzard and then getting attacked by lapwings. The RSPB could learn a thing or two from the WWT; if they laid on birds fighting each other to the death, I’d go to more of their reserves.

peregrine v buzzard 06 peregrine v buzzard 05 peregrine v buzzard 04 peregrine v buzzard 03 peregrine v buzzard 02 peregrine v buzzard 01 lapwing v peregrine

I also seen a few other things.

Unbouyant pochard

Unbouyant pochard

Twat

Twat

Pintail

Pintail

Perverts

Perverts

Lapwings

Lapwings

Chaos

Chaos

Jackdaw. The jackdaw is so-called because he highjacks doors and flies them into the sea.

Jackdaw. The jackdaw is so-called because he highjacks doors and flies them into the sea.

 

 

Bird-Based Chaos

5 Sep

Today I gone to Southmoor. Frankly it was chaos. None of the birds were organised or anything. Say what you like about Stalin, but at least he kept the birds chronologically ordered.

Bird-based chaos.

Bird-based chaos due to “liberal” thinking.

I think I seen a twite but I can’t be sure. I might be letting myself get carried away like the time I thought I seen a night heron. And as they always say, “once bittern, twites shy”.

Might be a twite.

Might be a twite.

Might not be a twite.

Might not be a twite.

Don't ask me to decide, I have no idea.

Don’t ask me to decide, I have no idea.

Then I seen other things.

Whimbrel. Whimbrels invented the whimbrella; a kind of ineffective umbrella for waterfowl.

Whimbrel. Whimbrels invented the whimbrella; a kind of ineffective umbrella for waterfowl.

Starlings. Starlings are called starlings because the starred as the lings in the 1974 TV adaptation of the hit musical "The Lings".

Starlings. Starlings are called starlings because the starred as the lings in the 1974 TV adaptation of the hit musical “The Lings”.

Some sort of fecking tern.

Some sort of fecking tern.

Ponce gull.

Ponce gull.

Blurry tern.

Blurry tern.

Blurry tern trying to hide.

Blurry tern trying to hide.

Pagham Har-bore

23 Aug

Today I gone to Pagham Harbour. I gone to seen birds. Not many birds. Birds are all playing hide and seek. Or should that be hide and “beak” HAHAHA AHAH AHAH AHAHAHA AHAHAH AHAHA! That’s very funny.

Juvenile goldfinches always appear with the brightness and contrast increased beyond reason. "As a natural defense".

Juvenile goldfinches always appear with the brightness and contrast increased beyond reason. “As a natural defence”.

This is Satan's Own Micro-Buzzard. He is on a teasel trying to look hard. "As a natural defence".

This is Satan’s Own Micro-Buzzard. He is on a teasel trying to look hard. “As a natural defence”.

This gull cannot actually swim. He has hydrolic legs which he can extend so he can stand on the sea bed. "As a natural defence".

This gull cannot actually swim. He has hydrolic legs which he can extend so he can stand on the sea bed. “As a natural defence”.

This Telly Savalis Bird is disguised as a butterfly-moth. "As a natural defence".

This Telly Savalis Bird is disguised as a butterfly-moth. “As a natural defence”.

These are some lapwings and stuff. That's not the sea. It's a moat they built. "As a Etc."

These are some lapwings and stuff. That’s not the sea. It’s a moat they built. “As a Etc.”

This greenfinch is holding his breath as part of his training for the Olympics.

This greenfinch is holding his breath as part of his training for the Olympics.

RSPB Arne

19 Jul

Today I gone to RSPB Arne. “Arne” as in “There ARNE’t any birds here.” That would work better if the RSPB spelt Arne better. But they don’t. Just to spite me.

Didn’t seen many birds. That’s my point.

Royal Society for the Hiding of Birds more like. Bastards.

Wood ants. Not being birds.

Wood ants. Not being birds.

Look at this wood ant. He isn't even trying to be a bird.

Look at this wood ant. He isn’t even trying to be a bird.

This horse is also not a bird.

This horse is also not a bird.

Here is a dragonfly. He is not a dragon. Which is a shame because dragons are a type of bird.

Here is a dragonfly. He is not a dragon. Which is a shame because dragons are a type of bird.

This dragonfly is also not a bird dragonfly.

This dragonfly is also not a bird dragonfly.

These dragonflies aren't even dragonflies, let alone birds. They are damselflies.

These dragonflies aren’t even dragonflies, let alone birds. They are damselflies.

This dragonfly is a tramp and he drinks metholated nectar while shitting in the doorway of Spar.

This dragonfly is a tramp and he drinks metholated nectar while shitting in the doorway of Spar.

This bird is a fuzzy brownington so he doesn't really count.

This bird is a fuzzy brownington so he doesn’t really count.

This is a young gull. As in "Young gull, get out of my mind. My love for you is way out of line. Better run, gull. You're much too young, gull."

This is a young gull. As in “Young gull, get out of my mind. My love for you is way out of line. Better run, gull. You’re much too young, gull.”

Pygmy Birds

7 Jul

I just been up Thorney Island and I seen some pygmy birds.

Pygmy bird 1 - The Tiny Pigeon

Pygmy bird 1 – The Tiny Pigeon

Pygmy bird 2 - The Miniscule Tern

Pygmy bird 2 – The Miniscule Tern

Pygmy bird 3 - The Midget Heron

Pygmy bird 3 – The Midget Heron

I also see some other boringer birds.

Whitethroat. The whitethroat is so called because it annoys him.

Whitethroat. The whitethroat is so called because it annoys him.

Twin black-headed gulls (conjoined at the face).

Twin black-headed gulls (conjoined at the face).

Swallows. It is an interesting fact that swallows cannot actually swallow. This is why they all starve to death.

Swallows. It is an interesting fact that swallows cannot actually swallow. This is why they all starve to death.

Shelducks and chicks. For all we know, they've abducted those chicks.

Shelducks and chicks. For all we know, they’ve abducted those chicks.

Linnet. All linnets are female. Except for the male ones.

Linnet. All linnets are female. Except for the male ones.