Tag Archives: blue tit

Blashford Lakes

10 Aug

Yesterday. Blashford Lakes. Me. Sexy.

Buzzard oiling the wheels of commerce with its lust fuelled advertising

Buzzard oiling the wheels of commerce with its lust fuelled advertising

Blue tit bringing everything around to himself

Blue tit bringing everything around to himself

The smuggest stock dove I have ever encountered

The smuggest stock dove I have ever encountered

Robin in autumn smudge plummage

Robin in autumn smudge plummage

Kestrel milking the air butter

Kestrel milking the air butter

Greenfinch tailor weaving tiny trousers for a ghost

Greenfinch tailor weaving tiny trousers for a ghost

Coal tit; does not burn as well as its name suggest

Coal tit; does not burn as well as its name suggests

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Bird Photography – Tips From A Master

8 Mar

Yesterday I went to Blashford Lakes and seen some birds so I could write you this guide to doing bird photos as good as me. You are welcome.

Bird Photography

Tips From A Master

By baldmonkey

Rule of Thirds
Even the most amateurist photographers know the rule of thirds. Put simply, you only ever need to get about a third of your subject in frame.

One third of a pochard

One third of a pochard

Lines
When composing your shot consider the use of the lines in view. Try to use them to draw the eye naturally towards the subject of the photo. If this is not possible at the time, remember you can always use photo software to subtly enhance the picture later. See how the first chaffinch is dull and the second vibrant.

Chaffinch without lines

Chaffinch without lines

Chaffinch with best lines

Chaffinch with brilliant lines

Path of Motion
In action photos it is important to consider the subject’s path of motion. You want to aim to have the bird as near the edge as possible, so that people don’t have to wait long when they are imagining the bird going away.

Blue tit flighting.

Blue tit flighting.

Focus
Like all glamour photography, bird photos are better in soft focus. Edges are like paper-cuts to the retina.

Ouchy focus. :(

Ouchy focus. 😦

Perfect and erotic focus.

Perfect and erotic focus. 😀

Background
There is nothing more boring than just all trees and that in the background of a wildlife photo. If that is all you captured you can always make the background more exciting in Photoshop or Pixlr.

What a boring photograph.

What a boring photograph.

This is much better.

This is much better.

Light
You don’t want too much glare off of the birds’ sweaty feathers so try to shoot in as low light as possible. Light is the natural enemy of the photographer.

Nuthatch. Levelly lighted.

Nuthatch. Levelly lighted.

Camera Settings
The many settings on your high-class camera may seem confusing. But they can be easily conquered if you know what they are for.
ISO – ISO stands for I. S. O. and is best used as an afterthought. Perhaps during a dinner party.
Exposure – Exposure is good because if you get lots of it you can be famous. Set it high.
Aperture – I don’t know. Is it like an overture or something. Probably not important.
Auto – This is the mode you should set your camera to. At all times. Always.

Blashformy

15 Nov

“STOP IT!” Colin screeched at his brother. But Simon couldn’t because the brake wires had been cut. Before either of them could prepare themselves they were thrown into a hedge, covered in their ill-gotten soup. Never again would they cheat in a donkey derby.

Also, today I went to Blashford Lakes and saw these things:

Obscured bullfinch

Obscured bullfinch

Homosexual greenfinches finally allowed to kiss in public without fear of persecution

Homosexual greenfinches finally allowed to kiss in public without fear of persecution

Great tit

Great tit

Great spotted woodpecker

Great spotted woodpecker

Goldcrest

Goldcrest

Gadwall

Gadwall

FUNGUS I WIN

FUNGUS I WIN

Dunnock it until you have tried it ahahahah that is very funny you may laugh

Dunnock it until you have tried it ahahahah that is very funny you may laugh

Coal tit

Coal tit

Blue tit

Blue tit

Treecreeper - the picture is perfectly in focus, it is bird which is at fault

Treecreeper – the picture is perfectly in focus, it is bird which is at fault

Tail of some description - possibly birdular

Tail of some description – possibly birdular

Robin - named after Robin Gibb due to it being all teeth and toenails

Robin – named after Robin Gibb due to it being all teeth and toenails

Quite possibly some sort of bird

Quite possibly some sort of bird

Great White Egret

31 Aug

Today I gone to Blashford Lakes and seen lots of things including a great white egret. It would have been good but my back hurts and there were lots of people there and some spoke to me and I was all like “Yes, I am baldmonkey off of baldmonkeyseenabird.” and “No, you cannot have my autograph I hate you for having an awful hobby like birdwatching when you are clearly capable of talking to other people. You disgust me.”

Great white egret being far away.

Great white egret being far away.

Great white egret flying further away.

Great white egret flying further away.

Tom Selleck

Tom Selleck

Robin

Robin

Little grebe

Little grebe

Little grebe with loud and needy littler grebe.

Little grebe with loud and needy littler grebe.

Green sandpiper sort of thing.

Green sandpiper sort of thing.

Great Crested Grebes

Great Crested Grebes

Juvenile great crested grebe. Little great crested grebe. Crested grebe. No crest yet though as it is little. Grebe.

Juvenile great crested grebe. Little great crested grebe. Crested grebe. No crest yet though as it is little. Grebe.

Great crested grebe.

Great crested grebe.

FUNGUS! I WIN!

FUNGUS! I WIN!

Dunnock.

Dunnock.

Common tern.

Common tern.

Chaffinch.

Chaffinch.

Blue tit.

Blue tit.

Blackbird.

Blackbird.

Albatross.

Albatross.

Urgh! Disgusting! Kill it! Kill it!

Urgh! Disgusting! Kill it! Kill it!

Also, last weekend I gone to Baffins Pond and Rotherlands Nature Reserve but I didn’t bother uploading the photos because they were crap so here they are for you. I love you. Die.

Baffins Pond:

Moorhens.

Moorhens.

Cormorant trying to blend in with canada geese.

Cormorant trying to blend in with canada geese.

Canada goose.

Canada goose.

Black-headed gulls.

Black-headed gulls.

 

Rotherlands:

Grey wagtail.

Grey wagtail.

Dragon

Dragon

Buzzards.

Buzzards.

Buzzard.

Buzzard.

Bees.

Bees.

Half a magpie.

Half a magpie.

Holiday

10 Aug

I’ve just got back from a holiday in Wales for seening birds ineffectually. There’s a lot to get through so you should read fast to maximise enjoyings.

First I stopped on the way to seen Warwick Castle I seen birds but apparently the first two don’t count because they are really counterfeit not existing birds from forrins.

Bald-Faced Lie Eagle

Bald-faced lie eagle.

Pop-peacock.

Pop-peacock.

Dunnock.

Dunnock.

Next was the beach at Harlech, which was awful. All not-birds, people and disappointment.

Not a bird number one.

Not a bird number one.

Not a bird number two.

Not a bird number two.

Not a bird number three FUNGUS I WIN.

Not a bird number three FUNGUS I WIN.

Not a bird number four.

Not a bird number four.

Next I seen some things in Betws-Y-Coed which I don’t know how to say. Fortunately it never came up as I spoke to no one. A point to me.

Grey wagtail.

Grey wagtail.

Goldcrest.

Goldcrest.

Also goldcrest again.

Also goldcrest again.

Dipper.

Dipper.

Also dipper.

Also dipper.

Yet dipper again.

Yet dipper again.

Next was I seen RSPB Conwy where the most exciting I seen was a blue tit. Proving Wales is wrong.

A poxy lapwing.

A poxy lapwing.

A poxy blue tit.

A poxy blue tit.

Then I gone to Puffin Island by being boated from Beaumaris. (Go with Beaumaris Marine Services not the other one. Beaumaris Marine Services are very very very very good and have RSPB people on board and are good.) I seen a black guillemot but was too slow to do a photo of it. These are the other things I seen. I also seen two harbour porpoises but although they ARE mammals, they are NOT bird-mammals. They are fish-mammals.

Shags.

Shags.

Oystercatchers.

Oystercatchers.

Not even real birds.

Not even real birds.

Kittiwake.

Kittiwake.

Cormorant.

Cormorant.

Then in the general Snowdonia area places I seen these:

Wheatear.

Wheatear.

Mystery birds. There were about ten of them in a flock and they were about the size of a starling but were too light to be starlings so I reckon they were probably wasp-kestrels.

Mystery birds. There were about ten of them in a flock and they were about the size of a starling but were too light to be starlings so I reckon they were probably wasp-kestrels.

Common buzzard.

Common buzzard.

Finally I gone to RSPB Lake Vyrnwy which is a stupid name and now I am bored please write your own words.

Serins and the arse end of a house sparrow.

Siskins and the arse end of a house sparrow.

Presumably a young thrush of some sort being annoyingly vague.

Presumably a young thrush of some sort being annoyingly vague.

Marsh tit.

Marsh tit.

Marsh tit again.

Marsh tit again.

House martin returning to his nest blurrily.

House martin returning to his nest blurrily.

Grey heron.

Grey heron.

Female Blackbird doing its best to look like something interesting.

Female Blackbird doing its best to look like something interesting.

Ashdown Forest

3 Aug

Today I gone all the way to Ashdown Forest for nothing. I think I heard a hawfinch at one point near Ashdown Forest Centre and I thought a common tern was something more exciting at Weir Wood Reserve. But neither of them were worth the petrol. I really hate birds. I bet they are all rubbish at Deer Hunter on their phones. Not like me. I am great at killing imaginary wildlife, me. They should bear that in mind next time.

Ashdown Forest is where Winnie The Pooh was originally filmed by Automobile Association Milne. I can see where he got the name from; there was dog crap everywhere.

Stonechat

Stonechat

Another stonechat.

Another stonechat.

Christ, stonechats are boring.

Christ, stonechats are boring.

A tiny bird. (Aves Tineus)

A tiny bird (Aves Tineus).

Another tiny bird (Aves Tineus Againus).

Another tiny bird (Aves Tineus Againus).

Blue tit being young and carefree and oblivious to the hideousness of it all.

Blue tit being young and carefree and oblivious to the hideousness of it all.

Cormorant. Which is an anagram of  "moron cart".

Cormorant. Which is an anagram of “moron cart”.

Common tern.

Common tern.

Common tern again.

Common tern again.

Dull, dull, frightfully common tern.

Dull, dull, frightfully common tern.

Digitally enhanced picture of a common tern which I enhanced using digitals to make it very award winning.

Digitally enhanced picture of a common tern which I enhanced using digitals to make it very award winning.

Common Redprobollbly

5 Apr

Gone to Blashford Lakes. Seen these:

Siskin

Siskin

Robin

Robin

Jackdaw

Jackdaw

Giant woodpecker trying to eat a normal sized basketball

Giant woodpecker trying to eat a normal sized basketball

Common redpoll

Common redpoll

Collared dove

Collared dove

Blue tit

Blue tit

Bank vole going around getting bailed out by tax-payer voles

Bank vole going around getting bailed out by tax-payer voles

A bird wearing a tiny balaclava

A bird wearing a tiny balaclava

Boil-In-The-Bag Birds and Something I Ain’t Sure About

26 Jul

Today I gone all up the Farlington Marshes. It was a boil-in-the-bag day. I seen all these boil-in-the-bag birds.

Boil-In-The-Bag Rice Bird

Boil-In-The-Bag Rice Bird

Boil-In-The-Bag Cheesey Sausage Bird

Boil-In-The-Bag Cheesey Sausage Bird

Boil-In-The-Bag Mild Bubonic Plague Bird

Boil-In-The-Bag Mild Bubonic Plague Bird

Boil-In-The-Bag Bobby Davro Bird

Boil-In-The-Bag Bobby Davro Bird

Boil-In-The-Bag Liquid Evil Bird

Boil-In-The-Bag Liquid Evil Bird

The Boil-In-The-Bag bird family is my faves. I wish it were more reality.

I also seen a thing I think was a chaffinch but I ain’t entirely convinced. It was hanging out with a meadow pipit. They seemed to be firm friends. They looked like they probably smoke pipes together while commenting on current naturey events. In a witty way. Like “I say, Mr Meadow Pipit, old bean, have you seen the new children on the reserve; they all smell of egg!” “Ha ha ha! That is very witty Mr Probably A Chaffinch, because they do. They all smell of egg. Ha ha ha!”. That sort of thing.

Probably a chaffinch, but I ain't too sure.

Probably a chaffinch, but I ain’t too sure.

Meadow Pipit

Meadow Pipit

(Edit: The wonderful Wanstead Birder pointed out that the chaffinch is a linnet. Silly me. I done a bird wrong, innit.)

Then I seen other things. Things you wouldn’t believe. Unless you are also to do birds. Here are pictures.

Redshank

Redshank

Lapwing

Lapwing

Juvenile Blue Tit

Juvenile Blue Tit

Whitethroats

Whitethroats

Whitethroat

Whitethroat

Skylark go up.

Skylark go up.

Skylark come down.

Skylark come down.

Billingshurst

25 Jun

Today I was in Billingshurst. I spent the day seening swifts fly into their nests in St Mary’s Church.

People used to believe that swifts did not have feet. This is because you never seen a swift land on land to stand on land. The real reason you never seen swifts land on land to stand on land is because they all have loads of really awful verrucas that really hurt. Fortunately, hobbies produce Bazuka™ in their saliva. You can often seen swifts happily climbing into the mouths of hobbies for this reason.

Swift going into church to pray for less verrucas.

Swift going into church to pray for less verrucas.

Then I gone to Pulborough Brooks to seen if I could seen a barn owl. I did not seen a barn owl. Here are some things I did seen instead.

Male house sparrow.

Male house sparrow.

Juvenile great-crested woodpecker.

Juvenile great-crested woodpecker.

Female house sparrow. Note that you can't spell "female" without "fale".

Female house sparrow. Note that you can’t spell “female” without “fale”.

Dunnock.

Dunnock.

Blah.

Blah.

Not a bird. Those wings are actually ears.

Not a bird. Those wings are actually ears.

Juvenile blue tit.

Juvenile blue tit.

 

Sign Spotting

10 May

Today I gone to Blashford Lakes and I seen some stuff. Here is the some stuff I seen.

Wren

Wren

Swift

Swift

Sand martin

Sand martin

Sand martin again

Sand martin again

Nuthatch

Nuthatch

Not a bird

Not a bird

Low grade pheasant

Low grade pheasant

Long-tailed tit

Long-tailed tit

Lapwing go away

Lapwing go away

Lapwing come back

Lapwing come back

I'm pretty sure it's a mistle thrush

I’m pretty sure it’s a mistle thrush

It might be a song thrush though

It might be a song thrush though

Great spotted woodpecker

Great spotted woodpecker

Great spotted woodpecker again

Great spotted woodpecker again

Great crested grebe

Great crested grebe

Fungus! I win!

Fungus! I win!

Fungus! I win! Again!

Fungus! I win! Again!

Chaffinch

Chaffinch

Canada goose and gooselets

Canada goose and gooselets

Buzzard

Buzzard

Blue tit

Blue tit

All in all, it was boring. So I invented sign spotting. It is easier, quicker and betterer. You can look at it HERE.