Tag Archives: carrion crow

Groin Cheese

9 Jun

So Farlington Marshes.

This crow was all muddy because he was having a spa day. He'd been down Spar and bought some marzipan and the other crows all thought he was a ponce so they pushed him in the mud.

This crow was all muddy because he was having a spa day. He’d been down Spar and bought some marzipan and the other crows all thought he was a ponce for buying poncey marzipan so they pushed him in the mud.

Lapwing. So called because his wingspan is exactly the same length as a lap of Silverstone.

Lapwing. So called because his wingspan is exactly the same length as a lap of Silverstone.

Kestrel? Yestrel.

Kestrel? Yestrel.

Whitethroat here.

Whitethroat here.

Whitethroat there.

Whitethroat there.

Mute swan flying away from all the lady swans trying to snog him. Hence the expression "kissed as a mute". Or something.

Mute swan flying away from all the lady swans trying to snog him. Hence the expression “kissed as a mute”. Or something.

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Treecreeper

5 May

Today I gone to the Rural Life Centre in Farnham. Seen a treecreeper and other things. I like treecreepers.

Some sort of not-bird.

Some sort of not-bird.

Mystery bird of prey circling around.

Mystery bird of prey circling around.

Carry On Crowing.

Carry On Crowing.

Blackbird.

Blackbird.

Treecreeper creeping out this poor defenceless tree.

Treecreeper creeping out this poor defenceless tree.

Spring

7 May

So this morning I been up Baffin’s Pond and I seen lots of spring thing.

A family of canada geese

A family of canada geese

A carrion crow having a paddle in the sunshine.

A carrion crow having a paddle in the sunshine.

Moorhens building a nest.

Moorhens building a nest.

A pervert sparrow watching another pervert sparrow having a dust bath.

A pervert sparrow watching another pervert sparrow having a dust bath.

The whole thing set me thinking about the wonders of life, love and how we all die alone trapped in our fleshy prisons with only obliteration to greet us.

Ornithdullogy

21 Apr

Been up Farlington Marshes. Didn’t seen nothing new.

Some ringed plovers.

Some ringed plovers.

A meadow pipit.

A meadow pipit.

A also meadow pipit.

A also meadow pipit.

A lapwing. There were lots of lapwing. Displaying like.

A lapwing. There were lots of lapwing. Displaying like.

A crow.

A crow.

Also I seen this sign that says what birds are allowed to be at Farlington Marshes.

A sign.

A sign.

Basically, if you seen a bird and it ain’t on the sign you have to shoot it “for reasons of efficiency”. I expect.

 

Purple Sandpiper

2 Feb

I just been down Southsea Castle and I seen a purple sandpiper and a shag. The purple sandpiper is called a purple sandpiper because it only pipes purple sand whereas the shag is called a shag because it invented carpet. Also I seen house sparrow and crows which I liked because they were sunny.

This is a purple sandpiper.

This is a purple sandpiper.

This is the same purple sandpiper.

This is the same purple sandpiper.

This is also the same purple sandpiper. I seen it.

This is also the same purple sandpiper. I seen it.

This is a shag I seen.

This is a shag I seen.

Laughing at a shag because it's name is rude is not funny.

Laughing at a shag because it’s name is rude is not funny.

Shag.

Shag.

This is one house sparrow I seen.

This is one house sparrow I seen.

This is another house sparrow I seen.

This is another house sparrow I seen.

This is not a house sparrow I seen. This is a carrion crow I seen.

This is not a house sparrow I seen. This is a carrion crow I seen.

Then I went down the end of Ferry Road to look at Langstone Harbour. I seen red-breasted mergansers.

Male red-breasted merganser looking content.

Male red-breasted merganser looking content.

Male red-breasted merganser looking harassed.

Male red-breasted merganser looking harassed.

Later I gone up Broadmarsh Coastal Park and I seen some long-tailed tits.

A long-tailed titty.

A long-tailed titty.

And some sort of duck or something and I don’t know what it is.

I don't know.

I don’t know.

I think it is a duck.

I think it is a duck.

Or something like that.

Or something like that.

Stuff In The Garden

31 Jan

I just seen some seagulls in the garden.

Stuff in the garden.

Stuff in the garden.

Like humans, seagulls get smaller the older they get. I saw a ninety year old seagull once. Everyone else thought it was a pied wagtail because they aren’t ornithbrilliant like me.

Fieldfare

20 Jan

Today I gone to Farlington Marshes and I seen a load of fieldfare. They were following the lapwings about calling them ponces. I was going to chastise them but they are right; lapwing are ponces.

Fieldfare.

Fieldfare.

Another fieldfare.

Another fieldfare.

Also more another fieldfare.

Also more another fieldfare.

Laponcewing

Laponcewing.

I also seen plenty of other stuff.

Stonechat.

Stonechat.

Also stonechat, but this time looking a different way as if to say "Look at me; I am a stonechat and I can also look this way."

Also stonechat, but this time looking a different way as if to say “Look at me; I am a stonechat and I can also look this way.”

Skylark et le worm.

Skylark et le worm.

Skylark sans le worm.

Skylark sans le worm.

Skylark.

Skylark.

Pintail.

Pintail.

Oystercatcher

Oystercatcher

Meadow Pipit.

Meadow pipit.

Knots.

Knots.

Grey plover.

Grey plover.

Grey heron.

Grey heron.

Carrion crow.

Carrion crow.

Wagtail

19 Nov

I gone to Comet cos they are closing down. Didn’t buy anything. Just enjoyed myself. Seen some birds in the car park and all. My fave was this pied wagtail. For a second I thought it was white wagtail but then I realised it ain’t because it ain’t a white wagtail it’s a pied wagtail. That’s how I can tell them apart. You can use that tip if you like.

Seen other stuff there too.

Then I gone to Baffin’s Pond and I shouted “BUNDLE!” at some feral pigeons I seen which caused them to do this. It’s a reflex thing with all Columbidae. They can’t help themselves.

Also I seen a evil shoveler get put in duck-prison for safe-quacking. HAHAHAHA! THAT IS ONE OF MY VERY GOOD JOKES. The shoveler did not really get put in duck-prison for safe-quacking. If anything his quacking was very dangerous. AHAHAHAA! ANOTHER AMAZING JOKE OF MINE!

I seen some coot feet.

 

And I seen other things.

Stupid Buzzard

1 Nov

So I gone to McDonalds for lunch and between shoving handfuls of fatty muck into my wobbling sweaty multi-chinned face, I stuck some food on the sunroof and took photos of the gulls I seen eating it. I seen lots of gulls. None of them were interesting. Which complimented the food.

Then I went to a place called Brook Meadow which is in Emsworth and straight away I seen a grey wagtail but it done all flying away so I didn’t get a photo.

I did get a rubbish photo of this buzzard I seen though.

It insisted on being the wrong side of all them branches. Because it was stupid.

To prove it was stupid I seen it go crying off because some crows called it a pansy.

If I was a buzzard, I’d have used my special kill-beak to make them crows sorry that they never danced with me at the school disco and always laughed at me in the playground when they walked past.

Oh, and also I seen this. It looked a bit too big to be a blackbird but it probably is a blackbird anyway.

Brent Geese

28 Sep

I just spent three hours at Farlington Marshes. I seen some Brent Geese all far away.

And I seen some shovelers all far away and all.

Another geese I seen is Canada Geese. They are called Canada Geese because they are geese and they are loud, stupid and obnoxious like everything from North America. They were going to call them USA Geese because the USAmericans are the loudest, stupidest, obnoxiousest North Americans but they are so self-absorbed that they would have taken it as a compliment. “Oh Gee! We’re so AWESOME they done named an Geese after us”. Like that. Say what you like about Canadians, but at least they know when ornithologists are having a pop at them.

Other things I seen were wheatear, grey heron, little egret, carrion crow and wood pigeon.