Tag Archives: goldfinch

Giblet Envy

25 Jun

Here are some things I have seen which are birds in the last week I seen them.

Mostly near Pagham Harbour and Warblington. No links today. Search for them yourselves. You are not worth my effort.

And I heard a cuckoo near Pagham Harbour. But I couldn’t photo the noise. You filth horse.

Various out of focus birds.

Various out of focus birds.

Satan's very own zebra robin.

Satan’s very own zebra robin.

Ninjavocet?

Ninjavocet?

Jesus Christ! What the fudge is that?

Jesus Christ! What the fudge is that?

Is this the hudsonian whimbrel I've been hearing about? No; it's just a curlew.

Is this the hudsonian whimbrel I’ve been hearing about? No; it’s just a curlew.

What is this? I don't even care anymore.

What is this? I don’t even care anymore.

Goldfinch about to ram raid a Spar and nick all the fags and sell them down the pub. £1 a packet. To feed it's skag habit. I'm not judging or anything. But, goldfinch is an anagram of golf dinch. So we shouldn't be so surprised.

Goldfinch about to ram raid a Spar and nick all the fags and sell them down the pub. £1 a packet. To feed it’s skag habit. I’m not judging or anything. But, goldfinch is an anagram of golf dinch. So we shouldn’t be so surprised.

Nearly in focus blackbird.

Nearly in focus blackbird.

Advertisements

Meh

4 Jul

I haven’t posted for a while.

This is because I realised bird watching is very boring.

But then I remembered that I am very boring.

Here are some things I have seen in places over the last month.

I like crows.

I like crows.

Swallow managing to fly despite carrying a very long straight stick.

Swallow managing to fly despite carrying a very long straight stick.

Some shelducks. Man in front. Lady behind. Decorum at all times.

Some shelducks. Man in front. Lady behind. Decorum at all times.

Gravepecker.

Gravepecker.

Death thrush.

Death thrush.

Peep peep goes the bird. I like the sound Sellotape makes when you pull off a big bit.

Peep peep goes the bird. I like the sound Sellotape makes when you pull off a big bit.

I really like crows.

I really like crows.

Crows are ace.

Crows are ace.

Collared dove. Look ashamed. And so it should.

Collared dove. Look ashamed. And so it should.

Pagham Har-bore

23 Aug

Today I gone to Pagham Harbour. I gone to seen birds. Not many birds. Birds are all playing hide and seek. Or should that be hide and “beak” HAHAHA AHAH AHAH AHAHAHA AHAHAH AHAHA! That’s very funny.

Juvenile goldfinches always appear with the brightness and contrast increased beyond reason. "As a natural defense".

Juvenile goldfinches always appear with the brightness and contrast increased beyond reason. “As a natural defence”.

This is Satan's Own Micro-Buzzard. He is on a teasel trying to look hard. "As a natural defence".

This is Satan’s Own Micro-Buzzard. He is on a teasel trying to look hard. “As a natural defence”.

This gull cannot actually swim. He has hydrolic legs which he can extend so he can stand on the sea bed. "As a natural defence".

This gull cannot actually swim. He has hydrolic legs which he can extend so he can stand on the sea bed. “As a natural defence”.

This Telly Savalis Bird is disguised as a butterfly-moth. "As a natural defence".

This Telly Savalis Bird is disguised as a butterfly-moth. “As a natural defence”.

These are some lapwings and stuff. That's not the sea. It's a moat they built. "As a Etc."

These are some lapwings and stuff. That’s not the sea. It’s a moat they built. “As a Etc.”

This greenfinch is holding his breath as part of his training for the Olympics.

This greenfinch is holding his breath as part of his training for the Olympics.

Queen Elizabeth Country Park

2 Jun

Queen Elizabeth Country Park. Dissappointing. Pictures:

tadpoles

tadpoles

scum-chav family ignoring the keep out signs, climbing over the fence and destroying as many plants and animals as they can with their stupid fat scumbag feet

scum-chav family ignoring the keep out signs, climbing over the fence and destroying as many plants and animals as they can with their stupid fat scumbag feet

robin

robin

it turns out this is not a real bird

it turns out this is not a real bird

goldfinch

goldfinch

engine

engine

Goldfinches

29 May

I seen a goldfinch in my garden. Here is the goldfinch.

Goldfinch

You might think goldfinches are boring. Not so. Here are my top ten goldfinch facts.

1. The name “goldfinch” comes from the latin “goldfish”, meaning “easily killed, easily disposed of”.

2. Goldfinches can be trained to talk. As long as all you want them to say is “Tweet”.

3. Goldfinches have targets on their face as a kind of dare.

4. If you catch the adults from fifteen nests and take their eggs too, you have just enough ingredients to make a scotch egg. Provided they all have a beakful of breadcrumbs too.

5. Goldfinches make their nests exclusively in fat ladies’ bras. Which is why their young smell of sweaty breasts.

6. Because they are so small, goldfinches are governed by the laws of quantum physics, meaning they can exist in two places at the same time. This is why you can’t trust them.

7. Goldfinches are the only bird which like to run around making motorbike noises and pretending to hold on to handlebars with their wings. Apart from choughs.

8. Goldfinches were introduced to Australia in the late 19th century. But they didn’t like it. So they built little rafts and sailed back to the UK. But they didn’t have passports and were refused access. The stateless goldfinches were forced to become puffins. Which is where puffins come from. This is why you can’t trust puffins.

9. Goldfinches like to use siskins as footstools.

10. There are only nine facts about goldfinches.

Notalot

22 May

I just been up Farlington Marshes. I didn’t seen much but I did get a bit of sign spotting done, so that’s nice.

Goldfinch

Goldfinch

Swift

Swift

Sedge warbler. Probably. I think. I mean, warblers are all basically the same. I thought it was a whitethroat to start with. Silly me.

Sedge warbler. Probably. I think. I mean, warblers are all basically the same. I thought it was a whitethroat to start with. Silly me.

Oystercatcher

Oystercatcher

Little egret

Little egret

Greenfinch

Greenfinch

Goldfinches

22 Apr

I just seen goldfinches fighting each other for niger seed in my garden. Stupid goldfinches fight like pansies. I’d like to see a goldfinch fight a pterodactyl. Pterodactyls are proper birds. Stupid goldfinches.

Stupid goldfinches.

Stupid goldfinches.

Fuzzy Cuzzy Garden

13 Apr

I just been to my cousin’s house. He gets loads of birds in his garden but they are all fuzzy.

Fuzzy goldfinch

Fuzzy goldfinch

Fuzzy dunnock

Fuzzy dunnock

Fuzzy chaffinch

Fuzzy chaffinch

Fuzzy blue tit

Fuzzy blue tit

Fuzzy brownington

Fuzzy brownington

Then loads of women, children and people turned up so i left and on the way home I seen a pheasant in a field with lapwing and crows. The end.

Pheasant

Pheasant

Interminably Prosaic Mundanity

22 Mar

I just been up Eastleigh Lakeside Country Park. I seen nothing interesting. So here are some facts about the things I did seen to make up for it.

robin

Robins have eight tongues. The word “robin” comes from the Māori for “evil one with spidery beak implements”.

redwing

Redwing’s were the only British bird to openly support the fascists during World War Two.

mute swan

Mute swan’s cannot swim. Instead they have hydraulic legs which they extend to the correct length to enable them to walk about just above the water line.

mallard

Mallard’s glow in the dark in order to confuse enemy airplanes.

magpie and woodpigeon

Magpies and woodpigeons often crossbreed with each other, producing pigeon-pies.

greylag goose

Greylag gooses are so buoyant they actually float just above the water.

jackdaw

Jackdaw cannot smell, which is why you cannot buy jackdaw antiperspirants.

great crested grebe

Great crested grebe’s are petrified of fish.

golfinches

Goldfinches were originally called “golfinches” because they are exactly the same length as the inches used in golf.

fuzzy brownington

This is a fuzzy brownington. All fuzzy browningtons are called Gregory and are thoroughly contemptible.

coot

Coots are the hardest substance known to man and can be used to cut glass.

canada goose

Canada gooses have appalling trousers which is why they never wear them.

black-headed gull

Black-headed gulls have no word for “saucepan”.

blackbird

Blackbirds invented trees.

Goldfinch

22 Mar

Seen a goldfinch in the barren wasteland of my garden. Digiscoped it. I am not very good at digiscopeding.

A goldfinch digiscoped.

A goldfinch digiscoped.

Male and female goldfinches are very similar. One small difference is beak length; males have longer beaks. This makes them much better at kissing, whereas the females simply spread disease.