Tag Archives: great crested grebe

Radipole Lake

16 Jul

On Sunday 12th I went to Radipole Lake in Weymouth to seen some birds. I was hoping to seen a mediterranean gull because I have not seen a mediterranean gull before Sunday 12th. I also did not on Sunday 12th. Or since Sunday 12th. This is a dreadful way to try and fill the time between birth and death. Sweet death. Wonderful welcoming death. It was a great day.

Marsh harrier and swift unaware of each other probably or having a fight maybe. I don't know. I never claimed to be your god, you just made me one.

Marsh harrier and swift unaware of each other probably or having a fight maybe. I don’t know. I never claimed to be your god, you just made me one.

Marsh harrier. Again. Might be a different one. Might not.

Marsh harrier. Again. Might be a different one. Might not.

Fucking grebe.

F***ing grebe.

Woodpigeon.

Woodpigeon.

My best guess is reed warbler. Could just as easily be any other brown bird. Let's pretend it is a horsefinch just for some excitement. Ooh look at this horse finch. No. Didn't work. Still bored.

My best guess is reed warbler. Could just as easily be any other brown bird. Let’s pretend it is a horsefinch just for some excitement. Ooh look at this horse finch. No. Didn’t work. Still bored.

Another bloody fuzzy swallow. This hobby sucks.

Another bloody fuzzy swallow. This hobby sucks.

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Jungle Sponge

13 Sep

I seen at Farlington Marshes. Seen.

Little Egret

Little Egret

Grey plover probably.

Grey plover probably.

LITTLE EGRET

LITTLE EGRET

LITTLE EEEEEGRET

LITTLE EEEEEGRET

Parts of a black-headed gull.

Parts of a black-headed gull.

One of those.

One of those.

Starlings.

Starlings.

Gengis Sodding Khan.

Gengis Sodding Khan.

Little egret. LITTLE EGRET. LIIIITTLE EEEGRET.

Little egret. LITTLE EGRET. LIIIITTLE EEEGRET.

Flock of bastards.

Flock of bastards.

Great crested grebe.

Great crested grebe.

Grey heron.

Grey heron.

Terry Sodding Waites.

Terry Sodding Waites.

Hari Sodding Krishna.

Hari Sodding Krishna.

Fly eating excrement; a metaphor for life.

Fly eating excrement; a metaphor for life.

Outoffocuscatcher.

Outoffocuscatcher.

LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET.

LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET. LITTLE EGRET.

Great tit. Greatit. Great at IT.

Great tit. Greatit. Great at IT.

Great White Egret

31 Aug

Today I gone to Blashford Lakes and seen lots of things including a great white egret. It would have been good but my back hurts and there were lots of people there and some spoke to me and I was all like “Yes, I am baldmonkey off of baldmonkeyseenabird.” and “No, you cannot have my autograph I hate you for having an awful hobby like birdwatching when you are clearly capable of talking to other people. You disgust me.”

Great white egret being far away.

Great white egret being far away.

Great white egret flying further away.

Great white egret flying further away.

Tom Selleck

Tom Selleck

Robin

Robin

Little grebe

Little grebe

Little grebe with loud and needy littler grebe.

Little grebe with loud and needy littler grebe.

Green sandpiper sort of thing.

Green sandpiper sort of thing.

Great Crested Grebes

Great Crested Grebes

Juvenile great crested grebe. Little great crested grebe. Crested grebe. No crest yet though as it is little. Grebe.

Juvenile great crested grebe. Little great crested grebe. Crested grebe. No crest yet though as it is little. Grebe.

Great crested grebe.

Great crested grebe.

FUNGUS! I WIN!

FUNGUS! I WIN!

Dunnock.

Dunnock.

Common tern.

Common tern.

Chaffinch.

Chaffinch.

Blue tit.

Blue tit.

Blackbird.

Blackbird.

Albatross.

Albatross.

Urgh! Disgusting! Kill it! Kill it!

Urgh! Disgusting! Kill it! Kill it!

Also, last weekend I gone to Baffins Pond and Rotherlands Nature Reserve but I didn’t bother uploading the photos because they were crap so here they are for you. I love you. Die.

Baffins Pond:

Moorhens.

Moorhens.

Cormorant trying to blend in with canada geese.

Cormorant trying to blend in with canada geese.

Canada goose.

Canada goose.

Black-headed gulls.

Black-headed gulls.

 

Rotherlands:

Grey wagtail.

Grey wagtail.

Dragon

Dragon

Buzzards.

Buzzards.

Buzzard.

Buzzard.

Bees.

Bees.

Half a magpie.

Half a magpie.

Petersfield Heath

27 May

Today I gone out West Dean way and seen these things:

A swallow.

A swallow.

Two swallows.

Two swallows.

A horse's eye, as used in Findus Crispy Pancakes as a "meat substitute".

A horse’s eye, as used in Findus Crispy Pancakes as a “meat substitute”.

Then I gone up Petersfield Heath and I done some sign spotting and seen these things:

Two great crested grebes.

Two great crested grebes.

Coot trying to smother its ugly babies to death but failing because coots are too stupid to do a good murder.

Coot trying to smother its ugly babies to death but failing because coots are too stupid to do a good murder.

A chaffinch.

A chaffinch.

Eastleigh

25 May

Today I had a thoroughly hateful day at Eastleigh Lakeside Country Park. There were loads of “people”. Most of them “children” or “women”. And all I seen was some great crested grebes and a load of sodding house sparrows. I can’t decide if I wish everyone else was dead more than I wish I was dead. Other than that, good day.

Great Crested Grebe More Great Crested Grebe Again Great Crested Grebe Bastard Sparrow

House Martins

24 May

Today I gone to Southmoor nature reserve and I seen house martins and I tried to take photos of house martins.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number one.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number one.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number two.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number two.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number three.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number three.

But just as I was starting to get the hang of it, this pucking frick parked right in front of my camera. I mean, RIGHT in front of my camera.

fucking cunt

Then he let his dog out of the car, no doubt so it could crap on as much nice stuff as possible before going home to stand in front of his wife as she tries to watch telly. And then kicking a panda in the nuts. And going to the cinema and painting over the lens of the projector. And then campaigning for the reintroduction of concentration camps. And telling people Nestlé chocolate is nicer than Cadbury. And nailing a dozen badgers to his drive so he can run them all over in one go. And curling out turds on the doorstep of an orphanage. And buying The Daily Mail. And eating scrambled osprey eggs. And singing the theme tune to the Banana Splits really loudly in a library. The bastard. Look at his stupid smug “I-kill-starving-African-babies-for-fun” style face.

utter fucking cunt

So I tried to take a photo of a swift and some magpies instead.

swift magpies

Then I gone to Broadmarsh Coatal Park and seen a great crested grebe.

great crested grebe

Also I gone to Wickham Common. I think I seen a willow tit. But I ain’t sure so I ain’t going to cross it off my list or nothing.

I think this might be a willow tit but I dunno. Soz.

I think this might be a willow tit but I dunno. Soz.

Sign Spotting

10 May

Today I gone to Blashford Lakes and I seen some stuff. Here is the some stuff I seen.

Wren

Wren

Swift

Swift

Sand martin

Sand martin

Sand martin again

Sand martin again

Nuthatch

Nuthatch

Not a bird

Not a bird

Low grade pheasant

Low grade pheasant

Long-tailed tit

Long-tailed tit

Lapwing go away

Lapwing go away

Lapwing come back

Lapwing come back

I'm pretty sure it's a mistle thrush

I’m pretty sure it’s a mistle thrush

It might be a song thrush though

It might be a song thrush though

Great spotted woodpecker

Great spotted woodpecker

Great spotted woodpecker again

Great spotted woodpecker again

Great crested grebe

Great crested grebe

Fungus! I win!

Fungus! I win!

Fungus! I win! Again!

Fungus! I win! Again!

Chaffinch

Chaffinch

Canada goose and gooselets

Canada goose and gooselets

Buzzard

Buzzard

Blue tit

Blue tit

All in all, it was boring. So I invented sign spotting. It is easier, quicker and betterer. You can look at it HERE.

Interminably Prosaic Mundanity

22 Mar

I just been up Eastleigh Lakeside Country Park. I seen nothing interesting. So here are some facts about the things I did seen to make up for it.

robin

Robins have eight tongues. The word “robin” comes from the Māori for “evil one with spidery beak implements”.

redwing

Redwing’s were the only British bird to openly support the fascists during World War Two.

mute swan

Mute swan’s cannot swim. Instead they have hydraulic legs which they extend to the correct length to enable them to walk about just above the water line.

mallard

Mallard’s glow in the dark in order to confuse enemy airplanes.

magpie and woodpigeon

Magpies and woodpigeons often crossbreed with each other, producing pigeon-pies.

greylag goose

Greylag gooses are so buoyant they actually float just above the water.

jackdaw

Jackdaw cannot smell, which is why you cannot buy jackdaw antiperspirants.

great crested grebe

Great crested grebe’s are petrified of fish.

golfinches

Goldfinches were originally called “golfinches” because they are exactly the same length as the inches used in golf.

fuzzy brownington

This is a fuzzy brownington. All fuzzy browningtons are called Gregory and are thoroughly contemptible.

coot

Coots are the hardest substance known to man and can be used to cut glass.

canada goose

Canada gooses have appalling trousers which is why they never wear them.

black-headed gull

Black-headed gulls have no word for “saucepan”.

blackbird

Blackbirds invented trees.

Redwings

25 Jan

I just been to Eastleigh Lakeside Country Park hoping to seen a hawfinch. I did not seen a hawfinch. All I seen was this chaffinch steadfastly refusing to be a hawfinch.

Chaffinch steadfastly refusing to be a hawfinch.

Chaffinch steadfastly refusing to be a hawfinch.

Seen some other stuff instead though. Like these redwings I seen.

This is one redwing.

This is one redwing.

This is two redwings.

This is two redwings.

I also seen a gigantic magpie. I done a photo of it next to a railway line so you can get an idea of scale.

A gigantic magpie next to some normal railway tracks.

A gigantic magpie next to some normal railway tracks.

And I seen goldfinches. Many many goldfinches. And a great-crested grebe.

How can something so beautiful be such a bottomless well of tedium?

How can something so beautiful be such a bottomless well of tedium?

Great-crested grebe being not all that great actually.

Great-crested grebe being not all that great actually.

But most of all I was surprised to see a pair of hummingbirds in winterstruck Hampshire.

A hummingbird.

A hummingbird.

Also a hummingbird.

Also a hummingbird.

 

 

 

 

Wren (again) (but for actual reallys this time)

9 Jan

So today I dun a busy day of seening birds. There is a lot to get through. Keep up or be left behind to die. No offence.

First I gone to Eastleigh Lakeside Country Park. There were grown men there playing with toy sailing boats. I laughed at them for being pathetic. Then I remembered I was doing birdwatching. Here are some birds I seen at Eastleigh Lakeside Country Park.

Great crested grebe.

Great crested grebe.

Great crested grebe with no respect at all for the seasons. All the other grebes bully him for his stupid summer plumage. And rightly so.

Great crested grebe with no respect at all for the seasons. All the other grebes bully him for his stupid summer plumage. And rightly so.

Mallard-based abomination.

Mallard-based abomination.

Long-tailed tit.

Long-tailed tit.

Greylag Goose

Greylag Goose

Then I gone to Amberley Wildbrooks. They very kindly let me put up my poster on the notice board.

AWB Poster

I seen these birds at Amberley Wildbrooks.

Wren belligerently refusing to look good in a photo.

Wren belligerently refusing to look good in a photo.

Wren looking slightly better in a photo but still looking awful. In a photo.

Wren looking slightly better in a photo but still looking awful. In a photo.

Faraway birds. Probably ducks or something.

Faraway birds. Probably ducks or something.

Then I gone to Pagham Harbour. They very kindly let me put up my poster in the hide.

PH poster

I seen these birds at Pagham Harbour.

A blue tit.

A blue tit.

A teal.

A teal.

The bottoms of shelducks.

The bottoms of shelducks.

A plentymuch of lapwing.

A plentymuch of lapwing.

A pheasant (I also seen a female but she was dull and boring and ugly).

A pheasant (I also seen a female but she was dull and boring and ugly).

A little egret.

A little egret.

King Heron, the baby-killing anti-hero from popular kiddy-book; The Bibell.

King Heron, the baby-killing anti-hero from popular kiddy-book; The Bibell.

A curlew doing a lands.

A curlew doing a lands.