Tag Archives: kestrel

Blashford Lakes

10 Aug

Yesterday. Blashford Lakes. Me. Sexy.

Buzzard oiling the wheels of commerce with its lust fuelled advertising

Buzzard oiling the wheels of commerce with its lust fuelled advertising

Blue tit bringing everything around to himself

Blue tit bringing everything around to himself

The smuggest stock dove I have ever encountered

The smuggest stock dove I have ever encountered

Robin in autumn smudge plummage

Robin in autumn smudge plummage

Kestrel milking the air butter

Kestrel milking the air butter

Greenfinch tailor weaving tiny trousers for a ghost

Greenfinch tailor weaving tiny trousers for a ghost

Coal tit; does not burn as well as its name suggest

Coal tit; does not burn as well as its name suggests

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Groin Cheese

9 Jun

So Farlington Marshes.

This crow was all muddy because he was having a spa day. He'd been down Spar and bought some marzipan and the other crows all thought he was a ponce so they pushed him in the mud.

This crow was all muddy because he was having a spa day. He’d been down Spar and bought some marzipan and the other crows all thought he was a ponce for buying poncey marzipan so they pushed him in the mud.

Lapwing. So called because his wingspan is exactly the same length as a lap of Silverstone.

Lapwing. So called because his wingspan is exactly the same length as a lap of Silverstone.

Kestrel? Yestrel.

Kestrel? Yestrel.

Whitethroat here.

Whitethroat here.

Whitethroat there.

Whitethroat there.

Mute swan flying away from all the lady swans trying to snog him. Hence the expression "kissed as a mute". Or something.

Mute swan flying away from all the lady swans trying to snog him. Hence the expression “kissed as a mute”. Or something.

Selsey Kestrel – Selstrel.

5 Nov

Remember remember the fifth of November
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder, treason
Should ever be… Oh good grief… September 11th… bloody yanks have to upstage us on EVERYTHING don’t they.

Also, Selsey, kestrel.

Kes1Kes2Kes3

Drama

16 Jul

The restroom at my work is a shack a short walk away, down a dirt track in the middle of some fields. Today, as I emerged from it, I got to see a full drama unfold in less than a second.

A couple of dozen house sparrows were noisily bathing in the dusty mud; rolling about, occasionally squabbling over the best dirt and generally adding yet more sunshine to an already beautiful day. Suddenly, from over the adjacent hedge a sparrowhawk shot towards them, daggered-claws first. A passerine cloud erupted from the dust. But before the assailant could snatch a snack, from behind me an enraged kestrel plunged down on the hawk, presumably defending his territory. With a series of screeches the raptors sped out of sight in deadly pursuit, leaving a sudden still silence behind them where moments earlier there had been so much loudness and life.

I couldn’t really appreciate it though, on account of the stench from what I’d left in the lav. Made your eyes sting.

Red-Breasted Mergansers

1 Mar

So today I gone to Eastney and from Eastney I could seen about a dozen red-breasted mergansers.

Red-breasted merganser from Eastney.

Red-breasted merganser from Eastney.

They were over by the locks at Longshore Way so I thought I would drive round and get a better seen at them. But on the way I seen a kestrel and I thought I would do a photo of the kestrel and I tried but my camera was all fogged up.

Foggy kestrel.

Foggy kestrel.

So I took my lens off my camera and gave the inside a wipe around with a licked finger which shifted some of it but not all of it. I had a look in the boot and there was a pack of yellow dusters, some scouring pads and a can of WD40. So first I sprayed half the can of WD40 in and then worked it in to all the mirrors and glass bits with a scouring pad and then dried it out with a yellow duster and it came up good as new.

Unfortunalteley, by the time I got round the end of Locksway Road there was some sort of charity “”fun” “run”” going on and all the noise they were making had scared the red-breasted mergansers out from the shore.

Red breasted merganser from the locks.

Red breasted merganser from the locks.

This is not the only proof that running is for scum and is evil. Consider the evidence:

  1. Running is slower than driving.
  2. O J Simpson sometimes ran, both before and after murdering his wife.
  3. Runner beans make that horrible squeaky sensation on your teeth.
  4. The film Nuns On The Run.
  5. Another unpleasant activity is also called “The Runs”.

The only exception to the evil-run-rule is Run DMC who insired the Guns a’n’d Roses classic “Walking This Way”. Note though that the song is about walking, not running.

Anyway, then I saw a dunnock.

Here's a dunnock i seen with all the contrast and brightness messed with until it is a horrid smudge which is all dunnocks are in the first place so who cares.

Here’s a dunnock i seen with all the contrast and brightness messed with until it is a horrid smudge which is all dunnocks are in the first place so who cares.

And some gulls.

An assortment of gulls.

An assortment of gulls.

Also the other day I seen a wagtail. It’s not a very special bird and the photo is not good so here it is:

Wagtail en blur.

Wagtail en blur.

So the moral is; instead of running, use WD40 and a scouring pad to clean your camera.

I Am A Published Wildlife Photographer…

13 Jan

Today, I have become a published wildlife photographer. My local paper; The News, printed one of my photos in their “Your View” section.

It is good to see that, unlike some local rags, they check what they publish thoroughly and only use trustworthy sources. Like me. No printing anything anyone sends them without checking it for accuracy for my local newspump. No. Just good, honest real factual facts.

Quality article.

Quality article. (Click for biggerings)

That text largerised.

That text largerised.

Short-Eared Owl

8 Jan

So I gone up Farlington Marshes and I seen a short-eared owl. I was livid. “Oi owl,” I said “it is a day not a night, sort it out.” He flew off. He knew he was bang out of order. He won’t do that again.

Short-eared owl doing a being in the day.

Short-eared owl doing a being in the day.

Short-eared owl, knowing he's in the worng and not having the balls to say sorry.

Short-eared owl, knowing he’s in the wrong and not having the balls to say sorry.

I seen other stuff too.

Stonechat

Stonechat.

Stonechat but better gendered

Stonechat but better gendered.

Meadow pipit

Meadow pipit.

Whirly tit

Whirly tit.

Kestrel.

Kestrel.

Kestrel again.

Kestrel again.

Headless mud-man of the Arse-In-The-Air

Headless mud-man of the Arse-In-The-Air ghost.

Bearded tits.

Bearded tits.

Kez-Trill

20 Dec

So today I was all like at work and that in Bosham and I seen a Kez-trill on a telegraph pole.

DSC_7694

I was all like “What are you doing up a telegraph, a Kez-Trill?”
And he was all like “My name is Kez-Trill and I am up a telegraph pole.”
He didn’t say anything but he looked at me in a way that said “My name is Kez-Trill and I am up a telegraph pole.”
So I turned round and I was all like “Yeah, but why are you up a telegraph pole, Kez-Trill?”
And he gave it all that like “You can’t prove nothing, geezer.”
He didn’t say anything but he looked at me in a way that said “You can’t prove nothing, geezer.”

Well, I weren’t getting drawn into some sort of Kez-Trill version of The Jeremy Kyle Show so I got on with what I was doing, but I’m still seething, if the truth be told.

Robin facts

14 Dec

Today I gone up the Farlingtons and seen a robin.

A robins.

A robins.

It is a FACT that you only ever seen a robin at Christmastime. The rest of the year, they do not exist.

Here are some other robin FACTS to help you celebrate Jehovah The God doing dirties with a fourteen year old girl.

1. The story of Robin Hood is based on the real life story of an Afro-American robin struggling to escape the ghetto. The original title of the story was Robin In Da Hood.

2. Robins are the only member of the bird family to deny the holocaust. But they do it in such a chipper fashion, nobody minds.

3. The 1958 song “Rockin’ Robin” by Bobby Day is not about robins at all. It is in fact about a blood splattered sparrow, in a state of shock, rocking back and forth in the corner muttering “What have I done?” over and over.

4. Sandra Bullock played the robin in the original stage show of Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Musical. The role was immediately axed because she seemed more like a nuthatch, ruining the narrative and upsetting the RSPB.

5. Robins actually fly backwards, but because their arses look like faces no one has ever noticed.

I also seen these:

Stonechat

Stonechat

Part of a bearded tit. Not even a good part.

Part of a bearded tit. Not even a good part.

Here's what I reckon the rest of the bearded tit would look like if you could see it.

Here’s what I reckon the rest of the bearded tit would look like if you could seen it.

Marsh harrier in Farsmudge Mode.

Marsh harrier in Farsmudge Mode.

Lapwings

Lapwings

Kestrel

Kestrel

Black tailed gobshites

Black tailed gobshites

Oliver Reed Bunting.

Oliver Reed Bunting. Drunk. Ruining “Wogan”.

Water Pipit

30 Nov

I done Farlington Marshes this morning and I seen a water pipit. I think it is a water pipit. It was near water and it looks pipitty.

I think this is a water pipit

I think this is a water pipit

I also saw a Magpie Tree (treeus magpius). Magpie trees are not really trees. They are elaborate eggs from which magpies hatch, like the ones in this picture.

Magpie Tree

Magpie Tree

I also seen other things but they was mostly out of focus on account of the cold weather and the earliness:

Canada geese

Canada geese

Brent Geese

Brent Geese

Black-Tailed Godwits

Black-Tailed Godwits

Birds

Birds

Teals

Teals

Stonechat

Stonechat

Starlings

Starlings

Shelducks

Shelducks

Reed Bunting

Reed Bunting

Pintail

Pintail

Oystercatchers

Oystercatchers

Meadow Pipit

Meadow Pipit

Little Egret

Little Egret

Lapwing (complete with wing laps)

Lapwing (complete with wing laps)

Kestrel

Kestrel

Great Crested Grebes

Great Crested Grebes

Curlews

Curlews

Curlew

Curlew

Cormorant

Cormorant