Tag Archives: pagham harbour

Giblet Envy

25 Jun

Here are some things I have seen which are birds in the last week I seen them.

Mostly near Pagham Harbour and Warblington. No links today. Search for them yourselves. You are not worth my effort.

And I heard a cuckoo near Pagham Harbour. But I couldn’t photo the noise. You filth horse.

Various out of focus birds.

Various out of focus birds.

Satan's very own zebra robin.

Satan’s very own zebra robin.

Ninjavocet?

Ninjavocet?

Jesus Christ! What the fudge is that?

Jesus Christ! What the fudge is that?

Is this the hudsonian whimbrel I've been hearing about? No; it's just a curlew.

Is this the hudsonian whimbrel I’ve been hearing about? No; it’s just a curlew.

What is this? I don't even care anymore.

What is this? I don’t even care anymore.

Goldfinch about to ram raid a Spar and nick all the fags and sell them down the pub. £1 a packet. To feed it's skag habit. I'm not judging or anything. But, goldfinch is an anagram of golf dinch. So we shouldn't be so surprised.

Goldfinch about to ram raid a Spar and nick all the fags and sell them down the pub. £1 a packet. To feed it’s skag habit. I’m not judging or anything. But, goldfinch is an anagram of golf dinch. So we shouldn’t be so surprised.

Nearly in focus blackbird.

Nearly in focus blackbird.

Genesis

13 Dec

When human beings began to increase in number on the earth and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that the daughters of humans were beautiful, and they married any of them they chose. Then the Lord said, “My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years.” But then he saw they were showing repeats of Blind Date on Challenge and he did a little brown God-job in his celestial pants.

Pagham Harbour.

A oneness of redshank.

A oneness of redshank.

A plenty much of lapwing.

A plenty much of lapwing.

An obscuredness of stonechat.

An obscuredness of stonechat.

Grey plover? Maybe. He doesn't know. I don't know. We don't know.

Grey plover? Maybe. He doesn’t know. I don’t know. We don’t know.

Geese doing shapes in the sky. Just after this they done a big willy. Geese are immature at best. Silly geese. No soup for you.

Geese doing shapes in the sky. Just after this they done a big willy. Geese are immature at best. Silly geese. No soup for you.

Dunnock. Where the hell did he get that caterpillar in December? Dunnocks are evil sorcerers. No wonder the God tried to drown them all to bits.

Dunnock. Where the hell did he get that caterpillar in December? Dunnocks are evil sorcerers. No wonder the God tried to drown them all to bits.

Dirty godwit.

Dirty godwit.

Purest Evil

16 Aug

Gone to Pagham Harbour. Seen these:

These lapwing are mad as hell and they aren't going to take it anymore.

These lapwing are mad as hell and they aren’t going to take it anymore.

Some sort of unathletic ape-lizard.

Some sort of unathletic ape-lizard.

Mecha-Kettleface The Unzipped.

Mecha-Kettleface The Unzipped.

Evil Simon the great tit. A great tit so evil they had to build this special prison for him to stop him evilling everything up. The bars are electrified by a special kind of peanut electricity which they gather from the Peanut Electricitifier you can see in the centre of his cell.

Evil Simon the great tit. A great tit so evil they had to build this special prison for him to stop him evilling everything up. The bars are electrified by a special kind of peanut electricity which they gather from the Peanut Electricitifier you can see in the centre of his cell.

Blurry sparrowhawk with a blurry something.

Blurry sparrowhawk with a blurry something.

Black-tailed godwits knocking off early.

Black-tailed godwits knocking off early.

Uncharacteristically benevolent sausage queen.

Uncharacteristically benevolent sausage queen.

Not A Great Deal

12 Aug

I gone Pagham Harbour. Seen not much. Fly like egg.

Sparrowhawk which I thought was something more exciting but it wasn't.

Sparrowhawk which I thought was something more exciting but it wasn’t.

Juvenile moorhen being led away by an evil female duck. I did nothing to stop the atrocity.

Juvenile moorhen being led away by an evil female duck. I did nothing to stop the abduction. Abducktion. HAR HAR.

How does a wader draw a right angle? With an avocet square. HAR HAR No not really. No birds can draw a right angle because all birds are pathetic at geometry. And biology. And religious education. And history.

How does a wader draw a right angle? With an avocet square. HAR HAR No not really. No birds can draw a right angle because all birds are pathetic at geometry. And biology. And religious education. And history.

Pagham Harbour

21 Jul

Ug caveman ung ugga ug. Ug go Pagham Harbour. Ug ugga ug rather nice time.

Juvenile shelducks. They still lisp when they say long words.

Juvenile shelducks. They still lisp when they say long words.

Juvenile robin. So sweaty he can slip through the tiny gaps between electrons, upsetting atoms into being less hydrogenny.

Juvenile robin. So sweaty he can slip through the tiny gaps between electrons, upsetting atoms into being less hydrogenny.

Reed warbler. Feel the violent simmering rage. He is angry at ALL the local bi-laws.

Reed warbler. Feel the violent simmering rage. He is angry at ALL the local by-laws.

Magpies have no skeleton, just a loose framework of disgarded straws.

Magpies have no skeleton, just a loose framework of disgarded straws.

Juvenile green woodpecker. Green woodpeckers are resposible for all the fly-tipping in the UK. They wait until the flies are asleep and then shove them over.

Juvenile green woodpecker. Green woodpeckers are resposible for all the fly-tipping in the UK. They wait until the flies are asleep and then shove them over.

Great tit. Cannot play guitar.

Great tit. Cannot play guitar.

Great spotted woodpecker. If you join up the spots on a great spotted woodpecker's back it makes a drawing of Jesus in a Nazi uniform.

Great spotted woodpecker. If you join up the spots on a great spotted woodpecker’s back it makes a drawing of Jesus in a Nazi uniform.

10% of black-headed gulls are bigger than themselves.

10% of black-headed gulls are bigger than themselves.

Avocets cannot fly.

Avocets cannot fly.

Avocets dissolve in water like an elegant feathery Alka-Seltzer.

Avocets dissolve in water like an elegant feathery Alka-Seltzer.

Two eerie faceless birds sharing a pair of legs.

Two eerie faceless birds sharing a pair of legs.

Pagham Havocet

6 Jun

Today I gone to Pagham Harbour to seen the avocets that the RSPB Handbook of British Birds (Second Edition) says should be Northerned by now.

avocets

As you can see, I have now mastered my new lens:

shelduck black tailed-godwits avocets and mallards

Then I seen a blackbird. Blackbirds are not actually black. They are a vivid red. The black is an optical illusion to prevent social diseases.

blackbird

New Lens

23 May

Today I tried out the new camerara lens I got for my birthday. It is difficult to do pictures of what you seen with it because of no talent. I seen these with it up a Pagham Harbour.

Shelduck Mute swan Black-tailed godwits Acocet

I’m pretty sure that avocet should be in foreign by now.

Whitethroat

1 May

This morning I gone to Pagham Harbour and I seen a whitethroat.

The whitethroat is so-called because, like the great crested grebe, the peregrine, the common crane, the great shearwater and the dipper, it is the only bird in the world with a white throat.

Whitethroat

Whitethroat

And swans.

Herring Gulls

9 Mar

Herring Gulls

by William Wordschough

I wandered lonely as some smog That floats on high o'er Southampton skulls, When all at once I saw a crowd, A host, of screeching herring gulls; Beside the filth, beneath the gloom, Born of the city's fetid womb.

I wandered lonely as some smog
That floats on high o’er Southampton skulls,
When all at once I saw a flock,
A host, of screeching herring gulls;
Beside the filth, beneath the gloom,
Born of the city’s fetid womb.

Also, yesterday in Southampton, I seen this brilliant plastic owl, deterring pigeons.

Effective deterant plastic owl

Then today at Pagham Harbour I seen these. Each and every one was making horrid comments about the participants of the Winter Paralympics. Typical bigotted rural wildlife. Not like the hip and tolerant foxes round my way.

Roe Deer Buff-Tailed Bumble Bee Avocets

Pagham Harbour (the other day not today soz)

21 Oct

I forgot to say I gone to the Pagham Harbour the other day and seen a bird.

I have no idea what this thing is. It's a bird or something. I'm calling it a grey plover and I'll fight anyone who says different. Unless they are bigger than me.

I have no idea what this thing is. It’s a bird or something. I’m calling it a knot even though I’d prefer it to be a sanderling or a grey plover. I’ll fight anyone who says different. Unless they are bigger than me. As I said all along; this is clearly a golden plover.

Then I tried to take a photo of some leaves but a bird photobombed it and ruined everything.

Annoying bird photobombing a photo of leaves

Also, I found this TV guide for the Birdish Broadcasting Corporation.