Tag Archives: swift

Radipole Lake

16 Jul

On Sunday 12th I went to Radipole Lake in Weymouth to seen some birds. I was hoping to seen a mediterranean gull because I have not seen a mediterranean gull before Sunday 12th. I also did not on Sunday 12th. Or since Sunday 12th. This is a dreadful way to try and fill the time between birth and death. Sweet death. Wonderful welcoming death. It was a great day.

Marsh harrier and swift unaware of each other probably or having a fight maybe. I don't know. I never claimed to be your god, you just made me one.

Marsh harrier and swift unaware of each other probably or having a fight maybe. I don’t know. I never claimed to be your god, you just made me one.

Marsh harrier. Again. Might be a different one. Might not.

Marsh harrier. Again. Might be a different one. Might not.

Fucking grebe.

F***ing grebe.

Woodpigeon.

Woodpigeon.

My best guess is reed warbler. Could just as easily be any other brown bird. Let's pretend it is a horsefinch just for some excitement. Ooh look at this horse finch. No. Didn't work. Still bored.

My best guess is reed warbler. Could just as easily be any other brown bird. Let’s pretend it is a horsefinch just for some excitement. Ooh look at this horse finch. No. Didn’t work. Still bored.

Another bloody fuzzy swallow. This hobby sucks.

Another bloody fuzzy swallow. This hobby sucks.

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Billingshurst

25 Jun

Today I was in Billingshurst. I spent the day seening swifts fly into their nests in St Mary’s Church.

People used to believe that swifts did not have feet. This is because you never seen a swift land on land to stand on land. The real reason you never seen swifts land on land to stand on land is because they all have loads of really awful verrucas that really hurt. Fortunately, hobbies produce Bazuka™ in their saliva. You can often seen swifts happily climbing into the mouths of hobbies for this reason.

Swift going into church to pray for less verrucas.

Swift going into church to pray for less verrucas.

Then I gone to Pulborough Brooks to seen if I could seen a barn owl. I did not seen a barn owl. Here are some things I did seen instead.

Male house sparrow.

Male house sparrow.

Juvenile great-crested woodpecker.

Juvenile great-crested woodpecker.

Female house sparrow. Note that you can't spell "female" without "fale".

Female house sparrow. Note that you can’t spell “female” without “fale”.

Dunnock.

Dunnock.

Blah.

Blah.

Not a bird. Those wings are actually ears.

Not a bird. Those wings are actually ears.

Juvenile blue tit.

Juvenile blue tit.

 

Petersfield Heath

27 May

Today I gone out West Dean way and seen these things:

A swallow.

A swallow.

Two swallows.

Two swallows.

A horse's eye, as used in Findus Crispy Pancakes as a "meat substitute".

A horse’s eye, as used in Findus Crispy Pancakes as a “meat substitute”.

Then I gone up Petersfield Heath and I done some sign spotting and seen these things:

Two great crested grebes.

Two great crested grebes.

Coot trying to smother its ugly babies to death but failing because coots are too stupid to do a good murder.

Coot trying to smother its ugly babies to death but failing because coots are too stupid to do a good murder.

A chaffinch.

A chaffinch.

House Martins

24 May

Today I gone to Southmoor nature reserve and I seen house martins and I tried to take photos of house martins.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number one.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number one.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number two.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number two.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number three.

Blurry-go-fast house martin number three.

But just as I was starting to get the hang of it, this pucking frick parked right in front of my camera. I mean, RIGHT in front of my camera.

fucking cunt

Then he let his dog out of the car, no doubt so it could crap on as much nice stuff as possible before going home to stand in front of his wife as she tries to watch telly. And then kicking a panda in the nuts. And going to the cinema and painting over the lens of the projector. And then campaigning for the reintroduction of concentration camps. And telling people Nestlé chocolate is nicer than Cadbury. And nailing a dozen badgers to his drive so he can run them all over in one go. And curling out turds on the doorstep of an orphanage. And buying The Daily Mail. And eating scrambled osprey eggs. And singing the theme tune to the Banana Splits really loudly in a library. The bastard. Look at his stupid smug “I-kill-starving-African-babies-for-fun” style face.

utter fucking cunt

So I tried to take a photo of a swift and some magpies instead.

swift magpies

Then I gone to Broadmarsh Coatal Park and seen a great crested grebe.

great crested grebe

Also I gone to Wickham Common. I think I seen a willow tit. But I ain’t sure so I ain’t going to cross it off my list or nothing.

I think this might be a willow tit but I dunno. Soz.

I think this might be a willow tit but I dunno. Soz.

Notalot

22 May

I just been up Farlington Marshes. I didn’t seen much but I did get a bit of sign spotting done, so that’s nice.

Goldfinch

Goldfinch

Swift

Swift

Sedge warbler. Probably. I think. I mean, warblers are all basically the same. I thought it was a whitethroat to start with. Silly me.

Sedge warbler. Probably. I think. I mean, warblers are all basically the same. I thought it was a whitethroat to start with. Silly me.

Oystercatcher

Oystercatcher

Little egret

Little egret

Greenfinch

Greenfinch

Sign Spotting

10 May

Today I gone to Blashford Lakes and I seen some stuff. Here is the some stuff I seen.

Wren

Wren

Swift

Swift

Sand martin

Sand martin

Sand martin again

Sand martin again

Nuthatch

Nuthatch

Not a bird

Not a bird

Low grade pheasant

Low grade pheasant

Long-tailed tit

Long-tailed tit

Lapwing go away

Lapwing go away

Lapwing come back

Lapwing come back

I'm pretty sure it's a mistle thrush

I’m pretty sure it’s a mistle thrush

It might be a song thrush though

It might be a song thrush though

Great spotted woodpecker

Great spotted woodpecker

Great spotted woodpecker again

Great spotted woodpecker again

Great crested grebe

Great crested grebe

Fungus! I win!

Fungus! I win!

Fungus! I win! Again!

Fungus! I win! Again!

Chaffinch

Chaffinch

Canada goose and gooselets

Canada goose and gooselets

Buzzard

Buzzard

Blue tit

Blue tit

All in all, it was boring. So I invented sign spotting. It is easier, quicker and betterer. You can look at it HERE.

Common Buzzard Or Something Like That

23 Jul

I should’ve added this important post yesterday but I forgot. That was wrong and unprofessional of me. Sozzles.

Anyway, right, so yesterday I gone to my garden and I seen this probably a common buzzard. It was pretty high like. (edit – I’ve been told by iveneverkilledapipit, via the comments below, that this is almost definitely a sparrowhawk. Thanks iveneverkilledapipit, I appreciate the help, you fucking know-it-all).

And also I seen swifts.

And also I seen herring gulls.

One time I seen this episode of QI and Stephen Fry was all “There ain’t no such thing as a seagull.”

Stephen Fry is well fick.

Nutty Old Bloke

27 Jun

Today I gone down Old Portsmouth. Old Portsmouth is in Southsea. It’s where the old port was. From there you can see the lovely stoney Southsea beaches bejewelled with beer cans and dog faeces:

And the wonderful bland architecture-by-numbers of Gunwharf Discount Shopping and Drinking for Slags and Arseholes:

And you can see a nutty old bloke swimming in the ice cold sewage-filled sea:

What you can’t see is birds. At least, not many. Apart from gulls. And then only boring ones.

I did seen this rock dove who was nice:

I also seen a goldfinch:

And a swift:

Rubbish, isn’t it? Cost me £2.60 to park. Bit annoyed, to be honest.

Peregrine Falcons

27 May

Went to Chichester Cathedral and seen two peregrine falcons.

Turns out I needn’t have bothered. Could’ve stayed home and done a screen dump from there of their nest.

Then I seen a load of swifts but they was difficult to photo.

Also I seen a load of people who are what I have turned into and was a bit sad about it tbh.