Tag Archives: woodpigeon

Radipole Lake

16 Jul

On Sunday 12th I went to Radipole Lake in Weymouth to seen some birds. I was hoping to seen a mediterranean gull because I have not seen a mediterranean gull before Sunday 12th. I also did not on Sunday 12th. Or since Sunday 12th. This is a dreadful way to try and fill the time between birth and death. Sweet death. Wonderful welcoming death. It was a great day.

Marsh harrier and swift unaware of each other probably or having a fight maybe. I don't know. I never claimed to be your god, you just made me one.

Marsh harrier and swift unaware of each other probably or having a fight maybe. I don’t know. I never claimed to be your god, you just made me one.

Marsh harrier. Again. Might be a different one. Might not.

Marsh harrier. Again. Might be a different one. Might not.

Fucking grebe.

F***ing grebe.

Woodpigeon.

Woodpigeon.

My best guess is reed warbler. Could just as easily be any other brown bird. Let's pretend it is a horsefinch just for some excitement. Ooh look at this horse finch. No. Didn't work. Still bored.

My best guess is reed warbler. Could just as easily be any other brown bird. Let’s pretend it is a horsefinch just for some excitement. Ooh look at this horse finch. No. Didn’t work. Still bored.

Another bloody fuzzy swallow. This hobby sucks.

Another bloody fuzzy swallow. This hobby sucks.

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Stuff

20 Apr

Here are some stuff I seen since I last posted. Not saying when. Not saying where. I give and I give and I give and you people show no gratitude.

Black-tailed godwit Flying high "No barred tail for me" I hear you sigh.

Black-tailed godwit
Flying high
“No barred tail for me”
I hear you sigh.

Woodpigeon. Good pigeon. No evil in him. He's good At the end And at the begin ing.

Woodpigeon.
Good pigeon.
No evil in him.
He’s good
At the end
And at the begin
ing.

The turnstone turns a stone or two Unlike his friend the curlew Who only knows how to do A curling when he is at loo.

The turnstone turns a stone or two
Unlike his friend the curlew
Who only knows how to do
A curling when he is at loo.

The duck is here With all four legs. We love to see Its warm brown eggs.

The duck is here
With all four legs.
We love to see
Its warm brown eggs.

SHRIKE.

SHRIKE.

Peacock butterfly. On the floor. Why don't you just Eff off once more. No offence.

Peacock butterfly.
On the floor.
Why don’t you just
Eff off once more.
No offence.

Long-tailed tit, You're tail is long But only compared to your body-length, so don't get cocky.

Long-tailed tit,
You’re tail is long
But only compared to your body-length, so don’t get cocky.

Ferrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Nimble. Claw claw. Desire.

26 Jul

Today I gone to a man‘s house and seen things in his garden.

Herring gull. Going. Going gull. Herring going. Hegoingull.

Herring gull. Going. Going gull. Herring going. Hegoingull.

Woodpigeon with a problem of some sort.

Woodpigeon with a problem of some sort.

House sparrow. Not as good as a techno sparrow.

House sparrow. Not as good as a techno sparrow.

Warblington

24 Jul

On the way home I seen Warblington seen birds these.

Woodpigeon having a big poo.

Woodpigeon having a big poo.

These birds are unnaturally far away, proving they are synthetic.

These birds are unnaturally far away, proving they are synthetic.

Suspiciously furtive green woodpecker.

Suspiciously furtive green woodpecker.

Lady Chaffinch-De-Le-Tree; professional scab.

Lady Chaffinch-De-Le-Tree; professional scab.

Four men called Len pretending to be a spider.

Four men called Len pretending to be a spider.

Ant. Out of Ant and Decking. On a tree.

Ant. Out of Ant and Decking. On a tree.

Happy Birthday, Me. Thank You, Me.

20 May

It was my birthday today. None of you remembered. I celebrated by seening lots of mediocre birds in Portsmouth.

Herring Gull

Herring Gull

Woodlouse (mostly not a bird)

Woodlouse (mostly not a bird)

Woodpigeon

Woodpigeon

Starling

Starling

House sparrow going away

House sparrow going away

House sparrow with a house it caught

House sparrow with a house it caught

Herring gull over-optimistically seeking herrings

Herring gull over-optimistically seeking herrings

Then I wrote a list of bird-horror films. Here is the list of bird-horror films. Apologies to anyone who saw them already when I posted every single one on Twitter earlier.

Let the Shrike One In
House of Waxwing
The Masque of the Red Poll
The Texas Jackdaw Massacre
Godwitzilla
Don’t Rook Now
Draculark
Psycoot
The Phantom of the Ouzela
Ali-hen
Nosfulmartu
Frankenstint
The Fly (Catcher)
Irruption of the Body Snatchers
Army of Duckness
The Devil Rides Owls
Poltergeese
[Ren]
A Tale of Two Siskin
Halloweegret
The Wicker Mandarin
Creature from the Blackcap Lagoon
Dawn Chorus of the Dead
28 Jays Later…
Car-rhea
Tit and the Pendulum
An American Wheatear in London
Dotterellraiser
A Nightjar on Elm Street
Sweeney Todd: The Dunlin Barber of Fleet Street
The Ohen
I Walked with a Zombee-Eater
J(ackd)aws
Cranedead

I can’t wait for my next birthday.

Interminably Prosaic Mundanity

22 Mar

I just been up Eastleigh Lakeside Country Park. I seen nothing interesting. So here are some facts about the things I did seen to make up for it.

robin

Robins have eight tongues. The word “robin” comes from the Māori for “evil one with spidery beak implements”.

redwing

Redwing’s were the only British bird to openly support the fascists during World War Two.

mute swan

Mute swan’s cannot swim. Instead they have hydraulic legs which they extend to the correct length to enable them to walk about just above the water line.

mallard

Mallard’s glow in the dark in order to confuse enemy airplanes.

magpie and woodpigeon

Magpies and woodpigeons often crossbreed with each other, producing pigeon-pies.

greylag goose

Greylag gooses are so buoyant they actually float just above the water.

jackdaw

Jackdaw cannot smell, which is why you cannot buy jackdaw antiperspirants.

great crested grebe

Great crested grebe’s are petrified of fish.

golfinches

Goldfinches were originally called “golfinches” because they are exactly the same length as the inches used in golf.

fuzzy brownington

This is a fuzzy brownington. All fuzzy browningtons are called Gregory and are thoroughly contemptible.

coot

Coots are the hardest substance known to man and can be used to cut glass.

canada goose

Canada gooses have appalling trousers which is why they never wear them.

black-headed gull

Black-headed gulls have no word for “saucepan”.

blackbird

Blackbirds invented trees.

Big Garden Birdwatch

26 Jan

Today I done the RSPB’s big garden birdwatch thing. My garden is a lifeless wasteland though so I done it for my mum’s garden. It ain’t big but I seen the following:

1 x pied wagtail

1 x herring gull

2 x blackbird

4 x house sparrow

5 x starling

1 x woodpigeon

Genuine photo of starling.

Genuine photo of starling.

Genuine photo of house sparrow.

Genuine photo of house sparrow.

I thought that this was a bit boring and anyway all birdwatchers are liars. So, in deceitful RSPB style, here is the list I submitted:

half a dozen griffons

1 x massive owl wearing a hat

3 x stock dove

5 x stockier dove

a whole flock of osprey

8 x Bernard Matthew’s Turkey Drummers

77 x non-existent bearded tits

Well, that’s the list I wanted to submit but my mum wouldn’t let me. She said “two wrongs don’t make a right”. and threatened to withhold Dairylea Triangle privileges.

I’d be interested to hear what you seen when you done your big garden birdwatch.

If I were mentally subnormal.

Woodpigeon

27 Jul

This morning my cats seen a woodpigeon.

Silly cats accidently ripped its throat out.

Oops.

Woodpigeon

30 Apr

Today I was in my parents’ garden and I seen a woodpigeon. Here he is. Ironically my parents live in a city not in a wood. We laughed.

I also got this upskirt shot of a house sparrow. It’s not very good though so I’ll not cross it off the list.